It is my personal belief that every person comes into our life for a reason. If this is true, it is important for us to consider the spiritual tests that come with each friendship to allow us to grow. These tests come to us every time someone challenges our sensibilities about who we are or what we will tolerate in any given relationship. Again, when we choose not to pass our spiritual tests or ignore the writing on the wall, we pay a significant price for our lapse in judgment. Being in a romantic relationship with an immature man or woman is like managing a high-schooler. There is nothing good that can come from it. This is especially true for a man or woman with aspirations of someday being married. Great bonding can only occur if you are equally immature.
What does immature behavior look like?
Here are 8 sure signs you’re dating an immature man or woman.
● Makes comments that are insensitive & inappropriate
It is simply rude to tell someone that you are smarter, more attractive, or funnier than they are. Are we back in preschool? Bringing up imperfections is unnecessary, and the person who does this is clearly very insecure. When someone makes a comment that you know is totally inappropriate, model behavior that is mature: keep yourself calm and let your silence over the next few weeks speak for itself. Being aware of the impact of your words and actions is a sign of maturity.
● Texts you as his/her primary mode of communication
Texting is not going to end. There is no getting around this. Granted, some people do not enjoy talking over the phone. However, if there is someone in your life you would like to get to know better, texting them throughout the day and night is not the way to put your best foot forward. By using texting as your primary mode of communication, you may miss out on getting to know the person you have affection for in a healthy way. Take the plunge, put yourself out there, and pick up the phone to experience a real interaction.
● Ill mannered behavior
Many singles are asleep about behaviors that might be considered silly by some. Belching, passing gas, drunken conduct and not giving two cents about your table manners may get you on the do not call list if you are not careful. It is not cool even though in your mind you have been socialized to think it is. Being obnoxious and rude to service people is also a real turn off. Remember, how you or your love interest conducts him or herself both in and out of your presence could be a reflection of things to come, for better or worse.
● No respect for your calendar
The guy or woman who doesn’t respect the fact that you have a life outside of your friendship with them is demonstrating self-centered behavior and may not be worth your time and effort. This is typically seen when a possible love interest calls you and expects you to drop everything and be free that day or the next day. With all that is going on in life how can anyone expect you to be free? Plan ahead and give your girlfriend a few days notice to plan an outing. This is very important, especially in the first few months of dating.
● The communication is flat
The ability to hold a conversation about a topic other than the latest episode of House of Cards will be imperative for you to proceed to the next phase of the relationship. There is no harm in being one dimensional, just commit to developing good communication skills. Remember communication is the foundation of a healthy relationship and if the communication doesn’t flow the relationship will fizzle. Keep communication at the top of your list to foster a foundation for a solid relationship.
● Questionable hygiene
I am going to refrain from expounding on this topic. It speaks for itself. Make certain you don’t have a blind spot in this area.
● No clearly defined interests
Having clearly defined interests is a sign of a well rounded human being. Having wide interests is a key part of being characterized as “interesting”. If you are one of the millions of singles that do not have clearly defined interests, sit quietly and ask yourself what could I be doing that would really make me happy. As we all grow and mature it is very important that we get in touch with what brings us joy.
If it is you that is immature than you have a little work to do. To get additional laser-focused guidance about dating in the 21st century contact me for a complimentary session.
© Copyright 2014 Karla Moore. All Rights Reserved.