Online Dating Cautions To Consider When Using Tinder or Match

Online dating is a relatively new and exciting way to meet your ideal partner; it can be even more exciting if you have never tried online dating before. You can end up with many new and interesting dates and maybe even a life long relationship. What some people forget, however when starting this journey is to remember to use your common sense. This doesn’t just matter when it comes to the safety of online dating, but for all types of dating.

What people do not understand is that perfect person that they are looking for probably isn’t going to be surfing dating sites all the time. Take your time, and have a good look at your match, don’t just look at how much money they make or their looks. Start small; send them a few emails first, and then when you become happier move on to instant messaging. If what they say feels too good to be true, then they might be lying, just so you will meet them. Hopefully this isn’t the case, and you really have found your perfect match, but make sure you figure this out before arranging to meet him or her in person. Protecting your anonymity is very important. Don’t tell them your home address or give them a phone number within minutes of meeting them, look into more things about them first. Don’t even give them the name of your place of employment. Make sure you are ready! If anyone hassles you for information then make sure you block them right away and move on. Remember more and more people are suing websites like Match.com on a daily basis because of bad experiences. Another thing to consider is sites like Match.com have also started suing their clients that misuse their service. So make sure you read all their rules.

As well as protecting your identity, protect your heart. Finding that perfect match isn’t always what it turns out to be. They may be perfect on your computer screen, but not in real life. Try and save the romance part of the relationship for when you actually meet. Don’t be fooled by someone’s words, they may be lying, ask them to prove what they are saying. You never know who you are meeting. More and more people are reporting bad experiences with sites like Match.com. One of the main problems with Match.com and Tinder is some people are lying about who they are. People with criminal records are even registering! So you really do need to be careful! Another problem with Match.com that people are reporting is the fact that they don’t receive matches until their subscription is about to expire! Some people have even started to hire private investigators that specialize in online dating service investigations. Now this may seem to be a little extreme for some people, but having background information may also save your life.

Here are five important online dating cautions to remember when using Match.com, Tinder or any other online dating service –

  1. Google the person before you meet him or her to see their digital footprint. 

  2. Always take your mobile phone on every date.

  3. Make sure to leave the person’s name with a family member.

  4. Have your own transport, in case something feels strange about the date.

  5. Make sure you always meet the person in a public place.

It may seem like a lot of hassle to be that cautious, but it is better to be safe than sorry! Those five things mentioned will allow you to feel safer knowing that your date isn’t a criminal or someone who could endanger your life. 

To get more guidance that will inoculate you for spinning your wheels on the dating train contact me today! 

© Copyright 2014 Karla Moore. All Rights Reserved.

4 Must have conversations before marriage

As a part of really getting to know your partner, having serious, deep, and honest conversations about life, love, and the future can be both fun and enlightening. To increase the probability of long term relationship success, make sure that you include these topics.

Religion/Spirituality/Values

 

Over the long term, a couple’s spiritual connection (above and beyond religion)  is the overriding factor driving relationship health and longevity. Having a strong spiritual tie opens the door to the fullest attraction and compatibility in all other areas: sexual, personality, overall interests, etc.  It even facilitates basic communication.  

 

This, deeper, spiritual link is something that young people frequently overlook. Many singles who fall madly in love are attracted by physical factors, which are, of course, extremely important, but are much more about superficial matters.  At the end of the day, when physical attraction subsides, a spiritual connection is what can sustain happiness and compatibility in a relationship.  

 

A strong spiritual connection has the power to transcend life’s challenges. When they come in your marriage, your connection with your husband will need to be rock solid. Can you love him no matter what? Or is your marriage going to be contingent upon what he can do for you? You will need to understand his views on spiritual and religious matters before getting in too deep. You will be able to read between the lines at several turns in your relationship but it will be a great conversation to have with him. You will see him in a new light as he shares his views and this conversation has the power to bring you closer together.

 

Money

 

Conflict about money is perennially the leading cause of divorce.  Knowing this in advance, its imperative to assess compatibility about financial matters with your boyfriend well before marriage.  As with most issues, its probably wise to be sensitive to both what your boyfriend says . . . . and to what he does in this area.  Frequently we aspire to perspectives that we’ve not quite arrived at ourselves.  

 

Probe about his thoughts about money: how does he feel about it?, does he have anxiety about it?, does he crave it?, is he afraid of it?, is he fixated on it?, etc.  Whatever the answers, just make sure that you can live with what he tells you.

 

Chemistry

 

Whether we want to admit it or not, human beings are mammals and, as such, we are hugely driven by physical needs around sex, hunger and security. It is extremely important that a couple is sexually compatible. Sex doesn’t need to be the focal point of the relationship, but to sustain a long term marriage, you must to be attracted to your future husband and have similar appetites and interests in the bedroom. Do your best to understand his sexual expectations and be just as sure to communicate yours. If there are any major differences, do your best to talk about them and get to a place of understanding and comfort about them.  

Family affair

For most singles, sensibilities around raising children surface when the children are already here. It is difficult to ‘future trip’ about kids, but you must begin to think about the realities that will likely be in your future.  Some people have a laser focused point of view about how children should be raised while others take a more laid back approach. Make certain that your boyfriend, soon to be husband, shares your values around raising children. You may have your mind made up about how you want to raise your children but do you know how your boyfriend is processing this experience?

To get additional time tested, laser-focused guidance about dating in the 21st century contact me for a complimentary session.  I’ve helped many many singles find the love of their life.  I can help you too! karla@ninegps.com

© Copyright 2014 Karla Moore. All Rights Reserved.

8 Signs You’re Dating An Immature Man or Woman

NineGPS

awkward-couple-featureIt is my personal belief that every person comes into our life for a reason. If this is true, it is important for us to consider the spiritual tests that come with each friendship to allow us to grow. These tests come to us every time someone challenges our sensibilities about who we are or what we will tolerate in any given relationship. Again, when we choose not to pass our spiritual tests or ignore the writing on the wall, we pay a significant price for our lapse in judgment. Being in a romantic relationship with an immature man or woman is like managing a high-schooler. There is nothing good that can come from it. This is especially true for a man or woman with aspirations of someday being married. Great bonding can only occur if you are equally immature.

What does immature behavior look like?

Here are 8 sure signs…

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8 Signs You’re Dating An Immature Man or Woman

awkward-couple-featureIt is my personal belief that every person comes into our life for a reason. If this is true, it is important for us to consider the spiritual tests that come with each friendship to allow us to grow. These tests come to us every time someone challenges our sensibilities about who we are or what we will tolerate in any given relationship. Again, when we choose not to pass our spiritual tests or ignore the writing on the wall, we pay a significant price for our lapse in judgment. Being in a romantic relationship with an immature man or woman is like managing a high-schooler. There is nothing good that can come from it. This is especially true for a man or woman with aspirations of someday being married. Great bonding can only occur if you are equally immature.

What does immature behavior look like?

Here are 8 sure signs you’re dating an immature man or woman.

● Makes comments that are insensitive & inappropriate

It is simply rude to tell someone that you are smarter, more attractive, or funnier than they are. Are we back in preschool? Bringing up imperfections is unnecessary, and the person who does this is clearly very insecure. When someone makes a comment that you know is totally inappropriate, model behavior that is mature: keep yourself calm and let your silence over the next few weeks speak for itself. Being aware of the impact of your words and actions is a sign of maturity.

● Texts you as his/her primary mode of communication

Texting is not going to end. There is no getting around this. Granted, some people do not enjoy talking over the phone. However, if there is someone in your life you would like to get to know better, texting them throughout the day and night is not the way to put your best foot forward. By using texting as your primary mode of communication, you may miss out on getting to know the person you have affection for in a healthy way. Take the plunge, put yourself out there, and pick up the phone to experience a real interaction.

● Ill mannered behavior

Many singles are asleep about behaviors that might be considered silly by some. Belching, passing gas, drunken conduct and not giving two cents about your table manners may get you on the do not call list if you are not careful. It is not cool even though in your mind you have been socialized to think it is. Being obnoxious and rude to service people is also a real turn off. Remember, how you or your love interest conducts him or herself both in and out of your presence could be a reflection of things to come, for better or worse.

● No respect for your calendar

The guy or woman who doesn’t respect the fact that you have a life outside of your friendship with them is demonstrating self-centered behavior and may not be worth your time and effort. This is typically seen when a possible love interest calls you and expects you to drop everything and be free that day or the next day. With all that is going on in life how can anyone expect you to be free? Plan ahead and give your girlfriend a few days notice to plan an outing. This is very important, especially in the first few months of dating.

● The communication is flat

The ability to hold a conversation about a topic other than the latest episode of House of Cards will be imperative for you to proceed to the next phase of the relationship. There is no harm in being one dimensional, just commit to developing good communication skills. Remember communication is the foundation of a healthy relationship and if the communication doesn’t flow the relationship will fizzle. Keep communication at the top of your list to foster a foundation for a solid relationship.

● Questionable hygiene

I am going to refrain from expounding on this topic. It speaks for itself. Make certain you don’t have a blind spot in this area.

● No clearly defined interests

Having clearly defined interests is a sign of a well rounded human being. Having wide interests is a key part of being characterized as “interesting”. If you are one of the millions of singles that do not have clearly defined interests, sit quietly and ask yourself what could I be doing that would really make me happy. As we all grow and mature it is very important that we get in touch with what brings us joy.

If it is you that is immature than you have a little work to do. To get additional laser-focused guidance about dating in the 21st century contact me for a complimentary session.

© Copyright 2014 Karla Moore. All Rights Reserved.

6 Creative Indoor Date Ideas

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After your date has made all the right moves by inviting you out on a few proper dates it is time for you, as the woman, to step up and offer to plan a date. He will appreciate seeing you in your habitat and the energy you put fourth. While organizing the date you have the beautiful opportunity to quietly communicate to your date your level of taste. This can also be a great way to show him that you are very grounded and down to earth in a most creative way.
Around the world in a night
Pick an eclectic foreign film like Cinema Paradiso – Italian (1988) or Black Opheus – French (1959) and pair the movie with an Italian or French dish and a sexy regional red wine.
Vintage Americana
Suggest teaming up and cooking a classic filet migion with sauteed red potatoes & mushrooms. Find a romantic classic film like The Thomas Crown Affair – 1968 with Steve McQueen and Faye Dunaway. Watching this movie will surely bring the chemistry between you and your date to a nice simmer. Pair this movie with a California Cabernet or an off beat Arizona red.
If he is nauseated by light hearted, romantic films suggest The French Connection (1971). This will appeal to his intrinsic enjoyment of violence.
Music Anyone?
For couples that share the gift of playing a musical instrument sharing your musical talents over a glass of Bordeaux can be extremely fun and will illuminate interesting qualities about your date. If you are not in touch with your inner musician than create a playlist on your Iphone with your top 10 favorite songs.
Classic & Modern Games
There is something very charming and nostalgic about playing chess with the person you are dating. The idea here is to keep the pressure low but keep it fun and sexy. If you really want to appeal to his little boy suggest a joint game of Mine Craft or Wii Sports. Bowling anyone?
Wine or Microbrew Tasting
Presuming you have no idea what kind of wine or beer your date likes this is a great way to get to know your dates interest in, or lack there of, beer or wine. To take the right approach stop by your local Wholefoods Market and pick 4 or 5 brands of beer or wine. You both will come away from this experience with a more well rounded palette.
Show & Tell Time
Each of you bring something that is meaningful, fun and special to you. This could be a baby picture, self made art or a favorite book. The idea is for the item to reveal something interesting about who you are and where you have been in a fun way.
Peruse through this blog for further advice.  Contact me today NineGPS.com  to learn how to apply these insights to your specific circumstance.
© Copyright 2013 Karla Moore. All Rights Reserved.